Saying goodbye
This post originally appeared in Dr. Rachel A. Larimore’s weekly Samara newsletter on May 9, 2023. If you’re interested in receiving these emails, scroll to the bottom of this page to subscribe.
As the end of the school year is approaching, children, families, and teachers will be saying goodbye to routines and communities they’re accustomed to and starting anew.
Transitioning to a new school (or classroom or grade) is a big deal. Many feelings and memories come with saying goodbye to the adventures shared, discoveries made, and relationships built.
But one thing I struggle with this time of year, is when the catalogs start arriving selling cap and gown regalia to purchase…for preschoolers. When online forums start lighting up with discussions about graduation plans…for kindergarteners. No! Just no!
Graduation means “receiving or conferring of an academic degree or diploma.” There are no degrees or diplomas in early childhood. None. As such, there should be no graduations. Now, you may be thinking, “But, Rachel, this is a big step—they’re going to school!” Yes, transitioning to a new school (or classroom or grade) is a big deal. Let’s CELEBRATE! Let’s celebrate the adventures shared, discoveries made, and relationships built. The key word here is “celebrate,” not “graduate.”
Celebrations can range in formality. Some keep it simple with a few gifts for the children and their families, such as a photo album of their year, a hug, and a goodbye. Others might invite families for an open house on the last day for children and families to spend time together. And other programs choose a more formal ceremony with things like crossing a bridge or wearing wings—both symbols of moving to the next step in the child’s life.
As Priya Parker, an expert on gathering, says:
“Ending your time together well is a crucial way to shape the feelings, ideas, and memories you want your guests to take with them. Endings are a reminder of why you gathered in the first place, and give guests a chance to make sense of the time they spent together.” ~Priya Parker
However you choose to handle this time of year, focus on moments of group connection and connection with the natural world, rather than logistics. Please be careful of the language used and messages being conveyed. The goal is to celebrate the time together and wish each other well on the next adventure.
As you design your final activities and closing rituals consider: How are you marking the end of your time with children? Are you helping to create meaning and memories of the year? I hope they celebrate the connections you’ve made and the experiences you’ve shared while acknowledging that everyone is moving on to something new.
Keep changing lives,
Rachel
Rachel A. Larimore, Ph.D., Chief Visionary of Samara Learning
